This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
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