Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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