I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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