I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Randomize
