i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Just high enough for therapy.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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