WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
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