He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
