hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
