honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
