So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
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