whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
