Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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