just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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