I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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