There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
