I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I made him laugh his dick is mine
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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