Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
