when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
