Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
