i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
