he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
