Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
