Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
