No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
