Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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