before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
