Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
