meet me or not, i'm out of control
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
