whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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