I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Welp...herpes.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Randomize
