I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
