every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
