When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
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