Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
