So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
