oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
