just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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