you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
