You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Randomize
