We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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