brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize
