Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
