he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
