Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
