we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
