i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
