you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
