So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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