it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Hippo gnu deer
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
