its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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