I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
